Andrew Garfield on Why He Hopes He Never Gets Over the Grief of Losing His Mother Lynn

"I hope this grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her," Andrew Garfield told Stephen Colbert this week

Andrew Garfield and mother Lynn Garfield
Andrew Garfield and mother Lynn Garfield. Photo: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic

Andrew Garfield believes grief is not something you need to overcome.

The Amazing Spider-Man actor, 38, stopped by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Monday, and talked about his mother Lynn who died in late 2019 following a battle with pancreatic cancer.

"I love talking about her, by the way, so if I cry, it's only a beautiful thing," Garfield told Colbert this week. "This is all the unexpressed love, the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter if someone lives until 60, 15, or 99."

"So I hope this grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her," the Oscar nominee continued. "And I told her every day. We all told her every day, she was the best of us."

Soon after losing his mother, Garfield began production on his new film Tick, Tick...Boom!, out now on Netflix.

In the musical, also starring Vanessa Hudgens, Garfield plays Jonathan Larson — creator of the iconic Broadway show Rent — who died unexpectedly at the age of 35 on the night of Rent's first off-Broadway preview in 1996.

On Monday night, Garfield drew some parallels between his mother Lynn and Larson, saying, "they were warriors for art."

"Both John and my mother were artists," he explained. "And they were warriors for art. They knew the power of art, and they knew the power of leaving the world in a slightly more beautiful state than when they found it."

He also spoke of Larson and his legacy, which is explored in the new film.

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"He was taken far too soon," the Social Network star said. "And this film...it's to do with that ticking clock that we all have. That we all know somewhere deep down that life is sacred, life is short and we better just be here as much as possible with each other, holding on to each other."

"I got to sing Jonathan Larson's unfinished song while simultaneously singing for my mother and her unfinished song," Garfield added. "I'm indebted to John and I'm indebted to [Tick, Tick...Boom! director] Lin-Manuel Miranda. I'm indebted to everyone who has brought me to this place so that I can honor the most beautiful person that I have ever experienced in my life through my art and use it as a way to heal, use it as a way to sew up the wounds. Cause that's what we do, right? That's what we do."

In September, the actor opened up to Variety about his mom — whom he described to the outlet as "the purest angel" — and losing her to cancer. Garfield had only recently learned of her diagnosis prior to going to North Carolina to shoot his film The Eyes of Tammy Faye and was hesitant to leave, he said, but did so at her encouragement.

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"She said, 'I would struggle with you not doing it on account of me.' I told her, 'OK, but promise me when it's time to come home you'll let me know,'" Garfield recalled.

During filming in late 2019, that time came and his costar Jessica Chastain and Searchlight Pictures co-chief David Greenbaum sent him back home to England to be by her side.

"The good news about me and her is that we left nothing unsaid," Garfield reflected. "We had all the quality time we could possibly have while she was here. And those last two weeks I got to be with her were probably the most profound two weeks of my life."

He continued, "To be with her and my dad and my brother, all of her friends, my nephews. It was full of grace in the midst of the terrible tragedy."

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